um, grow some balls. – w4m
July 6, 2009 at 3:26 pm | Posted in aggressive, i have so many questions, women for men | Leave a commentyou were surreptitiously lurking at me thursday. it was undeniably appealing; however, if you’re going to give me the sex eye all night, grow some fucking balls & ask me on a date. it’s not that hard. it’s called life. get to know it.
ps. i like picnics.
I want to be at that picnic.
To the Law Professor – w4m
July 6, 2009 at 3:23 pm | Posted in heartbreaking, women for men | Leave a commentYou co-taught a class about a year ago as an adjunct. I wanted to speak to you further but I had nothing to say. You’ve published countless articles, given numerous presentations, chaired multiple committees, been awarded prestigious honors and degrees. I have achieved nothing by comparison. And yet, of all the people I met at that lonely place, you were the first person to say a kind word to me, to share a laugh and a smile. You gave me your card but I never had the nerve to call. After all, what would I say? Someone like you would not remember someone like me now.
I was too embarrassed to let myself admit that I wanted to keep in touch. I now realize that I made a mistake.
So, if you see this, I want to let you know that you were a much-needed bright spot. Your gesture of friendliness has not been forgotten.
Thank you.
Hot dairy isle stocker – w4m – 25
April 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm | Posted in spelling & such, women for men | Leave a commentOoooh! Wish I wasn’t with my mom today when I saw you in your sexy green apron… lol… I should have looked at your nametag, but I guess I was lost in your eyes! Thanks for saying hi, I was a little shy. I hope you remember me, and I hope you’re single!
I’m not quite twenty-five yet, but at least I still don’t attend the grocery store with my mother (very often). Wait a sec… hot dairy isle? An entire body of land devoted to the joys of hot dairy. Delicious!
It’s because I’m fat, isn’t it? – w4m – 26
April 8, 2009 at 9:46 pm | Posted in driving, joking or serious?, women for men | 2 CommentsYou pulled alongside me on the outskirts of downtown. You were in the backseat of a turquoise Subaru, and looked quite dashing and sophisticated. A couple yahoos were in the front seat. The girl seemed sweet, but who was that dope at the wheel? I hope you were hitchhiking…
Anyway, you caught me at an unusually fat moment. I’m doing the Atkins, the South Beach, and the grapefruit diets all at once, and I’m SO close to an unfat size -5! I’ll also remind you that you only saw me seated– when I have the strength to stand, I assure you I have quite the striking, craggy silhouette.
Message me– you seem like you also have a few unwanted pounds that need shedding. I’m more than willing to split my leftover Adderall with you.
I pity the woman who considers anything over a size 5 to be “fat”. Is she kidding? From my personal experience I say: maybe not.
One of my favorite sub-section of missed connections are those on the road, the people who stare into the neighboring car and think: I might have a chance with this guy.
RE: The Stranger outside the Beat Coffeehouse – w4m – 36
April 8, 2009 at 9:35 pm | Posted in attempts at humor, women for men | Leave a commentYou have it all wrong, I yelled out ‘The Holocaust was totally awful, and I think anyone who uses humor about it doesn’t know the first thing about Comedy. Too soon, too soon!’
I like jokes about using craigslist Missed Connections as a way to meet new and exotic people. I met the host of the MNCS later tonight and kissed him under some mistletoe. I mentioned to him that Mistletoe could be deadly if you eat it, and he replied “Sometimes a kiss can be deadlier.”
I’m sorry it will never work out for us, Toolbox, But I have found my soul mate in Andy, the enigmatic host of that long- running Comedy Show.
You should come and see it sometime, there is a guy named Bill Young who is one of the funniest people in the Twin Cities. He performs there sometimes. And he usually talks about his roommate’s Hummel figurine collection. And how he has to sleep with a knife under his pillow. If you catch his set, you may learn a few tips that will help you meet girls like me. I am very attractive.I would have dinner with you, but I think I may hate you.
Suck it double, Turd burglar.XOXOXO
Oh, lady. I hope you’re not really a comedian.
I wish I had the other ad hinted towards in the title, but alas.
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